Derek's Solutions to world Issues

I can come up with a solution to ANY current world issue. Give me a problem, and I'll give you a solution.

why can't a smart, friendly, all-around good person like me get a decent job and keep it without the business closing down?

It's not entirely your fault, don't blame yourself. It's because our government keeps imposing ridiculous regulations on our nation's businesses that don't allow them to adapt, rewards their bad moves, etc. We should be encouraging the profit motive. Businesses should not be expected to be altruistic.

Barney Frank is a dumbass. This whole mess is his fault! It started with the good intention of getting all Americans to own their home. The government forced banks to give loans to people who were at high risk of defaulting on their loans, so the banks tried to make some money with these loans, as they should, and when people started defaulting en masse the entire system went down and brought along other industries than just the financial industry. Now, instead of encouraging spending with tax cuts, we're increasing taxes to fund the businesses who were going down the tubes due to their own stupidity like GM and Chrysler and AIG. GAH I hate the government, they should let me be the leader, I'd fix this!

HEY! MY THREAD!!! GET YOUR OWN!!

It's the government and all the liberal bastards out there that don't like to solve problems on their own. Oh the economy sucks, Government do something! NO FUCK THAT. The government shouldn't "fix" the economy. We're a capitalistic society for a reason, or at least we were. Government stops feeding bad business that are dying. Those business die. New businesses emerge. Old good businesses stay fine. Government stops printing money to throw at those bad businesses. Done.

Next Issue.

Oh, I'd also like to see a return to the gold standard to keep government spending reigned in.

Next issue.

Awww come on! No more Issues?!

how come i aint rich yet? (not rich, the person, duh... he's one of a kind... i mean rich with dollars)

lol I guess sparks not being $$ Rich is now a world Issue. But I'll take it on!

Ok first and foremost rich doesn't come easily very often. You'll need to work hard at it! depending on what career path you choose or will choose will greatly impact on how you will meet this goal. It also depends on the indivual's own definition of "being rich". Some people consider having millions of dallars rich while some may making 200 grand a year to be rich as well. So I really can't answer the fact that "why" arn't you rich yet is because I know little about the career path you choose or will choose. What your goals are and all that good stuff. So basically it comes down to what YOU want out of life by your own definitions and values and how you choose to accomplish them.

World issue:

Manbearpig

I'm so serious! You're solution?: .....

Ok first we will need to understand what manbearpig is. It is a creature that is half man, half bear, and half pig. My solution is to erradicate this foul beast to rid him from our world! I would have an entire agency devoted to hunting the beast down and with the latest weapons desroy the beast! I am super serious about this!

Hey Derek, what should be done about the hostage situation with and any other problems with piracy?

Gee Derek, you brought up an excellent point. Here's what I think:

First off who to blame: Pirates, Shipping Companies, insurance companies, World Govs.

I don’t know why this SO difficult for all the world leaders to solve because this is SUCH an easy issue to deal with, it really is. It only gets complicated when it gets ignored like it did. So hear it is my reason and solution to the ongoing piracy problem.

First I’ll give a wag of my finger to ALL the shipping companies who constantly send their ships into KNOWN pirate waters UNARMED! There is NO international law of ANY KIND preventing civilian ships from carrying weapons with them. URG! The American ship crew successfully fought off one attack from these pirates with nothing but fucking HOSES!! If they had weapons we wouldn’t be in the situation! Now here is where the Insurance companies are to blame. If a ship is to have weapons on board the insurance rates go up! UP!!! What the fuck, over?! Yeah, that makes shit tons of sense. That’s like having home owners insurance go up if you get home security devices and have the your insurance say “WHOA! That might prevent a possible emergency then a large claim, you have to pay more now.”
Give me a fucking break! Shipping companies have already paid millions of dollars in random money to these pricks, how the fuck is that profitable? Although its not like they really had any other alternative which brings me why all the world governments are to blame, especially ours.
For a long time everyone just sat there and watched their countries ships get hijacked time after time after time. It was already a matter of time before an American vessel sailed into this shit storm. Our own fucking president has said NOTHING, not ONE fucking word! For Christ sakes! At least acknowledge that shit is going down! Shit, the fucking French have ALREADY taken one of their ships back with hostages on it, the fucking FRENCH! Bring in the fucking Navy Seals and have them put bullets in the pirate’s heads and get our citizen back! DONE!
It was best said by a Lt. Col (Can’t remember his name) when he was asked “how do we deal with pirates?” and his reply was “we need to catch em’ and hang em’. Hunt down where their bases are and destroy them.” For fuck sakes! Put this man in charge! He knows what he is fucking talking about! The last time an American ship was seized by pirates was in 1804. Thomas Jefferson, one of the most anti-military presidents we have had, raised HOLY HELL on those fuckers. Weeded them out, destroyed them, and put a fucking end to the issue.

So here is what I would do. First get our fucking ship captain back and enough “negotiating” with these pricks. Then take our destroyers and blow the fuck out of every little shit boat with a bunch of skinnies with AK’s and RPG’s with them. THEN when the rest of them get the fucking picture and Flee to their “bases” we follow them back and BOMB THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF THEM! THEY DON’T GET TO USE THEIR PORTS ANYMORE!!! We just showed ANY future pirate skumbag that if you attack an American vessel, all hell will break lose on your ass! Done. Problem solved.

i...uh... a FRIEND...yeah, a friend of mine has this horrible, itchy, ginormous rash on my..uh...HIS asshole...

what creams do you recommend and how would i (dammit) HE stop the spread of this horrible rash to people around the world?

You got herpes in your asshole?

Way to RUIN my thread....

derek, what should've been done about all the corporate bailouts?

How can we get rid of all the gay rock in the world? I.E. Fallout Boy, The Jonas Brothers, MCR, Bullet For My Valentine, and any other emo band out there.

omg, that's an even better question than mine, answer that one...